


the darkness that we know

by SkyRose



Series: Game of Requirement 2019 [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Character Study, Dubious Morality, F/F, Infidelity, One Night Stands, Porn with Feelings, Porn with way too much plot, Vaginal Fingering, i don't write stuff like this often so i don't know how to tag it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-26 03:02:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20036830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyRose/pseuds/SkyRose
Summary: Narcissa Malfoy was in Godric's Hollow.Lily Potter wanted to know why.





	the darkness that we know

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #65 When she finds a lost object and realises who it belongs to, she decides to return it anyway despite the owner being someone she would rather not be around. If it was her, she'd want the item back. But the afternoon she chooses to return the lost item to its rightful owner proves to be more than she could have anticipated. Choose to continue the story using one of these tropes: <strike>Post-War Friendship, Enemies to Lovers, Friends with Benefits,</strike> **Smut.**
> 
> Honestly, I'm not sure I like how this turned out? I think it was a fun exploration of these characters nonetheless. It was supposed to just be smut and than all these emotions appeared.
> 
> **Background/implied relationships** that are mentioned too briefly to warrant a tag imo: James/Lily, Lucius/Narcissa, and James/Sirius.

_ “Do people always fall in love with things they can't have?” _

_ “Always.” _

Patricia Highsmith, The Price of Salt

Lily Evans Potter sat solitary in the soul park of Godric’s Hollow. James suggested she take a walk to clear her head after a restless night with baby Harry. It was the first time she was away from both of her family members in many days, and in truth she was only a few blocks away. 

She watched a few passersby as they hurried through the winter chill. She remained unbothered by the cold, aided by warming charms and a brand new knitted hat she received as a birthday gift from Molly Weasley.

These days, birthdays came and went with little fanfare. They were all too busy to get together. It was dangerous too. 

Here, in Godric’s Hollow, Lily was safe from the other side that threatened her safety.

Or so she thought.

Because she spotted a figure near St. Jerome’s with long blonde hair and an intricate black petticoat. It was Narcissa Black Malfoy, Lily was sure of it. They hadn’t shared many years at Hogwarts, the youngest Black sister still a few years older than Lily. But Lily had a habit, especially in her younger years, of looking over at the Slytherin table to check on Severus’ wellbeing. She knew all of the notable Slytherins’ faces. 

There was no mistaking it, yet Lily still felt the need to get a closer look. She stood, trying to make her path appear like an aimless stroll, and approached Narcissa. Yes, that was the face of a Black sister. The blonde hair meant it was Narcissa.

Lily’s pulse sped at the wife of Lucius Malfoy being in her safe haven. Was she spying on them? How did she find them? Albus had assured their safety, was he unaware of the intruder? 

Narcissa appeared to be alone. Defenseless, too. She wasn’t even holding her wand in either of her gloved hands. Her blue eyes never met Lily’s when she glanced her way. 

Wanting to keep her distance, Lily returned to the bench she occupied before. She kept the blonde woman in her peripheral vision, wary of her movements.

Lily took a deep breath, reminding herself of the purpose of her outing. Relaxation. No matter where her current situation led to, it was best to remain calm. 

Narcissa started walking into the chapel, the heels of her boots echoing into Lily’s ears. Lily turned fully to watch her disappear into St. Jerome’s. She waited five, ten, fifteen minutes before following the woman inside. 

She found no sign of Narcissa upon entry. She walked down the middle aisle, carefully assessing the pews. She made a discovery in the front pew.

A pair of gloves sat carefully on the wooden pew. Lily pulled out her wand, casting various spells to assure it hadn’t been cursed. There was magic in the black leather, but it turned out to be a harmless warming charm when Lily dared to reach for the pair. She picked them up, inspecting the craftsmanship of the gloves. They had to be expensive. Inside, Narcissa’s initials were stitched in silver thread.

It seemed they had been left behind by accident, not a maliciously cursed object purposely placed for Lily to stumble upon. Lily lost a nice scarf a few months ago in London, she missed it even now. Narcissa would miss her gloves, surely. 

Lily should return them. She could send them by owl, but… She knew where Malfoy Manor was. She knew it was dangerous to send an owl that could be traced. It would be more dangerous to go there directly. Still, Lily had lingering questions and curiosity.

She placed the warm gloves into her pocket. 

✥✥✥

There was no good reason not to tell James of the strange happenstance. Lily kept the gloves in the pocket of her coat, never daring to take them out. She didn’t tell James, excusing it to herself that the mood was never right. Why add to his worries? Why ruin an evening with Harry? 

Why even take the damn gloves in the first place?

Lily was determined to ignore the problem, but every time she felt the warm gloves in her pocket she was reminded of Narcissa Black Malfoy. This happened many weekends later, when James shooed her out of the house after another rough night. 

Lily froze in the doorway when she remembered the gloves. James told her to take a break for as long as she needed. He wouldn’t like it if he left the Grotto and yet… 

Now was the perfect time to return the gloves. And more importantly, gain some answers.

Malfoy Manor was a cold building. Lily knew it wasn’t the layer of snow that caused its frigid appearance. No amount of spring flowers or autumn colours would bring warmth to such a place. She made her way to the entrance, reaching up to the knocker. She knocked thrice. 

A House Elf appeared on the other side of the door. “State your name and business.”

Lily suddenly realized what a horrible decision she made. “Lily… I’m here to return these gloves to Mrs. Malfoy.”

“Wait here,” the Elf replied simply before snapping away. Lily gripped the gloves she had taken out of her pocket for the first time since placing the pair there. She didn’t dare enter the house, wary of any defensive curses it may have.

Distant voices could be heard in the Manor, gaining in volume. The House Elf and a woman, probably Narcissa. “Lily who? Are you sure it wasn’t Bella?”

The blonde woman appeared in the doorway. Her hair was styled delicately and her makeup was half-done. She was wearing a white dressing gown. She clearly wasn’t expecting visitors. Her eyes widened at the sight of Lily.

“Oh dear,” Narcissa sighed, somehow growing paler. “You can’t be here.”

“I-I’m just here to return these,” Lily stuttered, shoving the gloves toward Narcissa.

Narcissa hurriedly motioned for Lily to enter the house. Lily was shocked enough to comply. “My sister Bellatrix will be here very soon. You can’t let her see you. Follow me,” she explained as she strode into the halls of Manor.

Lily was led to a parlor, one that seemed to be private to Narcissa. The monochromatic decor was decidedly feminine and all the magical photographs showed Narcissa, her son, and the extended Black family. One would not even know Lucius existed standing in such a room.

“Don’t say a word, I’ll be back as soon as possible,” Narcissa said. She left the parlor, securing the door behind her. 

Lily was stunned. She still had the gloves in her grasp. Her head spun, causing her to take a seat on the plush sofa in front of the parlor’s fireplace. She weighed her options. 

She could Apparate out.

She could use the Floo powder atop the fireplace.

She could crawl out the window.

But, she wasn’t a  _ prisoner. _ Narcissa made it seem this was for Lily’s wellbeing. Perhaps she was truly safer in here. And leaving now wouldn’t gain any answers.

So she waited.

✥✥✥

About an hour passed before the door was flung open and Narcissa reappeared. Lily was surprised by her appearance. Her makeup was fully done, though it brought little colour to her complexion. Only her lips had not been painted a shade of grey, instead a delicate dark red that made Lily aware of the pleasant plumpness of the woman’s lips. The white dressing gown had been replaced with a charcoal pencil dress, exaggerating curves on the thin blonde that would have gone previously unnoticed. 

Simply put, she was beautiful. 

Lily would have complimented her, had she not noticed the shininess of Narcissa’s eyes a moment later. 

Narcissa mouth gaped slightly when she found Lily perched on the sofa. She quickly regained composure, blinking away the wetness in her eyes. “You’re still here.”

“You told me to stay here,” Lily replied, feeling very out of place.

“I didn’t expect you to listen,” Narcissa muttered as she walked across the parlor to a cabinet. She grabbed a bottle of white wine from it and poured herself a generous glass. “Would you like any?”

“No thanks,” Lily answered. James would have many questions if she returned home dizzy from wine after the shopping excuse she had already hatched. She had been gone an hour so far, after all.

Narcissa fiddled with her glass, taking small sips and glancing nervously around her parlor. She was at a loss of words, as was Lily.

She said the first thing that came to mind. “Why were you in Godric’s Hollow?”

Narcissa set down her glass, nodding slowly as an acknowledgement of the question while buying her time to think. Lily could practically hear all the neurons firing in her brain as she so loudly though. 

“There are…” Narcissa began, pausing for a slow drink from her glass. “Many reasons that I found myself in Godric’s Hollow, Mrs. Potter.”

Lily watched as Narcissa moved to sit in the armchair next to the sofa. Narcissa sat on the very edge with her ankles crossed. 

“I suppose I just wanted help, for one,” Narcissa noted, her eyes unfocused and nowhere near looking at Lily. “I’m on the wrong side of this war. I know it. I wish I had to courage to leave my family behind, but I am no Gryffindor like my cousin.”

Lily wondered which side of her family she meant, the Blacks or Malfoys. Both, probably.

“How did you know…” Lily didn’t finish her question.

Narcissa’s lips formed a straight line. “We have mutual friends I care not to expose.”

Lily stared. She was unconvinced, but wanted more answers. “What else?”

Narcissa rose a fine eyebrow.

“You said there were many reasons.”

“Oh, right,” Narcissa responded, eyes gazing down at the rug below. “Ever since the birth of your son, I have considered penning a letter to you. However, it always felt like a conversation to be held in person.”

Lily was incredibly concerned at the mention of Harry. Her heart sped and her hands grew clammy. “Do tell, Mrs. Malfoy.”

Narcissa closed her eyes. “I know I may overstepping boundaries… I thought it was only fair you knew the true relationship between your husband James and Sirius Black.”

Lily eyes narrowed. “They are good mates, always have been.”

“Not just mates,” Narcissa said, her voice a near-whisper. “They’ve been in a shaky relationship since Sirius ran off to live with the Potters as a teenager. My family made sure few knew of it.”

“These are my friends you are speaking of!” Lily exclaimed, frustrated by Narcissa’s ridiculous claims. “I know them better than  _ you.” _

Narcissa was trembling. “I kn-know that. I’m sorry. B-but I know it’s true. I wouldn’t lie about such a thing.”

Lily squeezed the gloves. She was in disbelief, not at Narcissa, but at herself. Because she believed her. 

James and Sirius were… involved. And by the sound of it, it hadn’t stopped when Lily and James began dating. Or got married.

Her throat burned and eyes grew wet. This couldn’t be happening to her. She should have trusted her younger instincts, when James was a non-good rascal to her and not the father of her child. 

Maybe it wasn’t true. Maybe it was all some misunderstandment. There was a bit of hope in the misery Lily had suddenly been dumped with. 

Narcissa was talking again and Lily focused on the sound of her voice. It grounded her back into reality. “A-and… I thought you would understand.”

Lily understood they were no longer talking about James and Sirius. This was about Narcissa and her mystery trip to Godric’s Hollow. 

“You and James were even younger than Lucius and I were when we married. I have slept so little these past few months, even with the nanny’s help. And with the war, it’s all too much. I’m only one woman, you know? How can I manage a stable marriage with a man who only cares about status? Why should I raise a child in this world? How do I keep my family alive?” Narcissa rambled.

Lily was stunned. This woman, a practical stranger, had bled out her most personal thoughts and fears. And amazingly… Lily did. She did understand. Not fully. But enough.

“You left your gloves on purpose,” Lily stated as if it wasn’t something she realized as soon as she saw Narcissa an hour ago.

Narcissa nodded, unfazed by the callout. “I did.”

“What do you want from me?” Lily asked, her eyes fixed on the unlit fireplace. “Truly.”

Narcissa opened her mouth, but soon closed it, favoring to stand. She approached Lily with hesitant steps. “You want the truth?”

“You’ve been telling the truth,” Lily spoke delicately. “I just want to know what you’re hiding.”

Narcissa, now standing above Lily, was oddly close. Her blue eyes were red at the edges and had dulled to a near grey. Her makeup wasn’t as impeccable as it appeared. Up close, Lily noticed it was smudged and misplaced. She wondered if her sister has made the same observations. She wondered if she had cared.

“I went to Godric’s Hollow to see you. To see if you felt the same as I did. To see if you understood. To see… i-if you wanted to escape your life too, if only for a day or night,” Narcissa confessed with a wobbly lower lip. “I imagine I’m projecting a bit too much, hmm?”

Lily agreed and disagreed. Lily was surprised. Lily wasn’t surprised. She felt everything all at once and also nothing at all. 

Falling in love with a boy you found annoying in school was one thing, what Narcissa was implying, with words that Lily could interrupt other ways, was something else entirely. She wasn’t one to… fraternize with the other side.

But, in truth, Lily was angry and hurting and utterly confused. It all swirled in her like a poorly brewed potion. It all made it okay, when Lily set the gloves aside and stood. 

She grabbed Narcissa’s left hand with her right, noting how cold they felt. Her other hand came to rest on the crook of Narcissa’s neck. Lily held Narcissa, hoping the simple touches were enough to explain what Lily wanted, what she was going to do next. Lily pressed a firm, short kiss to Narcissa’s lip. Firm, so she knew it wasn’t a mistake. Short, in case Narcissa decided she didn’t want this.

Narcissa had no problem with it. She gave Lily a pleasant sigh, squeezing Lily’s hand appreciatively. She leaned in for another kiss. The woman lost themselves to it, just as they planned to. They would lose themselves in touch and pay no mind to the voices in the backs of the heads or the lives they were living. 

Lily knew she wouldn’t be doing it if Narcissa hadn’t told her about James and Sirius, but it still wasn’t about him. It wasn’t about childish revenge. It was about pleasure in places where they shouldn’t be, or where she had never thought to look.

It was unclear who initiated the removal of clothes, but they found their hands moving under shirts and dresses, enjoying every inch of skin the other revealed, whispering each other’s names. 

Lily wondered how much of Narcissa’s movements were carefully calculated. The woman got what she wanted. It was almost amazing how Lily could feel her pull to touch her here and there, always causing a victorious moan from the blonde.

They laid out on the sofa together, Lily over Narcissa. Their bodies pressed together as much as possible.

When Lily kissed and licked Narcissa’s breasts, she could feel the woman shaking with relief. Lily wanted to know how long it had been since Lucius had pleasured her. Maybe never, not truly, knowing the arrogance of the man. Maybe it was just the previous evening. Lily did not know which she hated more.

“Lily…” Narcissa breathed as Lily lavished one of her nipples. Both of the pink buds were perky and wet, standing out against her fair chest. “Please.”

Lily trailed a hand down Narcissa’s side, sliding it over her thigh, before pressing it against the black lace between her legs. “I’ve been making some brilliant educated guesses on what you want, love, but now you need to tell me what you want.”

“Anything you’ll give me,” Narcissa replied, her voice high in her throat. 

It’s a lovely sentiment, but not what Lily was looking for. Her fingers begin to make gentle circular motions against the lace. “Narcissa, what do you want?”

There was a flash of frustration in Narcissa’s eyes. She hated having to show her cards, delve out her deepest desires. It was a wonder she was able to work up the courage to go to Godric’s Hollow. “For one, I’d like you to take my knickers off.”

Lily smiled gently. “Good,” she said and slid Narcissa’s underwear down her pale legs. “What else?”

“T-Touch me,” Narcissa pleaded, spreading her legs for Lily. 

Lily had to pause to admire her. She was slightly wet already, from Lily’s attentions to her mouth and breasts. When she finally touched her, a mere brush of fingertips, Narcissa let out a shuddering moan. 

She made all sorts of addictive noises, pleading and wanton. Lily couldn’t bear to have them stop, so she kept touching, rubbing, and, eventually, fucking into Narcissa. Two fingers, then three. Narcissa gasped and shook more desperately with each clever trust of Lily’s fingers. 

While Lily’s hands were hard at work, she kept her mouth busy too. She favoured kissing Narcissa’s lips, slow and gentle, a delicious contrast to her ever-speeding fingers. Her neck, too, and breasts. Sometimes she whispered into Narcissa’s ears. It wasn’t the normal sort of words she said during sex, no dirty compliments or drawn-out cusses. They were tender affirmations.

“It’s okay,” she chanted. “Everything will be okay.”

Narcissa came not long after that, whimpering and her eyes red. Lily wrapped her arms around her, holding her close as she trembled through the aftershocks. 

“Again, please,” she whispered into Lily’s hair.

“I… I’ve been gone for long enough,” Lily replied guiltily. 

Narcissa tensed at her answer. “I see. Well, certainly you’ll let me return the favour before you go.”

Lily couldn’t say no to that. It wouldn’t take much, anyway. She felt desperate in ways she hadn’t in years. “Of course,” she breathed, her voice suddenly hoarse.

Narcissa was a beauty to behold. She took apart Lily so methodically, so thoroughly that Lily wondered if she would ever be able to have a thought that wasn’t her. 

She didn’t ask careful questions as Lily had, nor whisper sweet nothings. She wouldn’t have been able to, seeing as her mouth was occupied, but Lily knew if it wasn’t Narcissa would still be silent.

It was unfair to think this was the first time Narcissa had done this. As soon as her lips licked and sucked between Lily’s thighs, she knew that assumption was false.

Lily’s recollection was a bit fuzzy, but she knew it didn’t take much before she went over the edge.

Afterwards, the dressed silently. Lily pulled Narcissa into a hug before she left. They didn’t say anything then, either. There was nothing to say.

✥✥✥

It wasn’t until Lily entered the cottage that she noticed the warmth in her coat pocket. She already knew that had caused it, but still pulled out the culprit to prove it.

Narcissa’s gloves. Lily smiled down at them. 

If she needed to escape another day, she had an excuse. Lily pocketed the gloves, unsure if she would do it again. Or if Narcissa would let her. 

Maybe all Lily needed now were the memories of Narcissa’s smudged lipstick and high moans.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments appreciated!


End file.
